Have you ever had a close look at the word “relationship”. It exists out of two sub-words namely – “relation” (which according to the dictonary means the way in which two or more people are connected) and “ship” (which is a big floating vessel).
When we are in a relationship there was something that connected us together, whether it is a friendship , marriage or a serious relationship, but we had something in common. We all know that a ship needs a good captain. Espesially when the sea’s are a bit rough from time to time. If the Captain is not capable of steering the boat it will surely run into trouble and sink.
The same with our relationships. We so very often run into trouble water and call it quits, without even trying to make it work. I have recently watched the movie “What happens in Vegas” and I had a good laugh but I also realised that there is something more to the movie than just a good comedy. This is what I loved about the movie. Instead of granting the two their wish and giving them a divorce, the judge sentenced them to 6 months of hard marriage. They tried everything to prove that they do not belong together, yet for those standing on the outside they were a perfect match. In the end their wish was granted and they did get divorced only to realise that they actually wanted to be married all along.
How many of us are in an unhappy marraige at the moment. We fight all the time – if it is not about the children it is about money , or because we think our partner is having an affair. I think we sometimes forget that we promised each other to stick together no matter what. Maybe it is because we forget that the relationship needs a captain. A lot of my friends always tell me that they wish their marriages were like mine. The truth is we also have our rought seas, the difference is we both have the same captain steering our boat.
A relationship is not just about love, it is also about trust, and faith. We need to trust each other. It doesn’t help that the minute your husband or wife walks out of the door and comes home late from work that you accuse them of having an affair. Have you ever asked yourself why do you feel insecure, so much so that you think your spouse is cheating on you? Is it something that happened to you in a previous relationship or do you just have a low self esteem?
I confronted my husband one day accusing him of cheating on me. The great thing was he did not get upset about it, he took me and sat me down on the couch and took my hands and told me ” I can have any woman in the world, yet I married you.” I then realised that he truly wanted to be with me and that no other woman will make him feel the way I could.
I know a girl who lost her husband to another woman, yes he cheated on her. When we asked him why he did it he told us that she begged him to cheat on her. She was always accusing him of cheating even though at that stage he did not even consider it. She planted the seed in his head to actually try it because that is what she wanted. She accused him of something he did not do. The more he denied it the more she called him a liar and the more they fought. He decided that he might as well do it since he is being accused of it.
This is where faith and trust comes in, not in your partner but in yourself. You must have faith that you made the right decision and you must trust yourself as well as your partner to make the marriage work. If your marrage is build on faith, trust and love you have a very strong foundation that can take the occasional wind and stormy weather.
Relationship and marriage is hard work, but it is the best thing I have ever done in my life. It takes understanding and sacrifices but it is all done in love.
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True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
We are all born for love. There is nothing nicer than the butterflies and that on cloud number 9 feeling when we fall in love. The sad thing however it never seems to last. I am sure we all know the saying “Love is blind, but marriage is the eye opener” and if we look at the divorce rates this must be so true.I love going to the golf club for inspiration, because this is the place where the big guns clinch a business deal or where husbands complain about their wives.
The funny thing is they always seem to think that their wives changed when they got married and that she is now trying to change him. I am sorry to say this ladies, but in most cases that seems to be true. We are trying to change each other, because I want him to be like me and he wants me to be more like him. Our differences then end up in arguments and sadly in most cases divorce or breaking up.
There are those people that say a good relationship is about giving and taking – a fifty/fifty partnership. Can I be honest if you are only willing to give 50% to a relationship don’t even try and have one. There is a lot more to a relationship than a 50/50 deal.Love is about giving everything not just 50%. It is a 100% commitment. We are all unique people in our own right. We all have different personalities, we were brought up differently, different cultures, languages, morals etc. Being in a relationship means that we must take these things into account.
Love is all about being patient. No matter how many times you have to ask him to put the seat down, if you truly love him this little irritation, which might seem like a big deal, can become a nod of the head and a smile on the face. I know some men who get irritated when their wives ask them to fix something and they want it done now. They might not feel like doing it right now. Most woman nag. Its in the blood but you will soon learn how to deal with it, when you truly love her. And as a woman you will understand that constant nagging doesn’t solve a problem it just makes it worse. Be patient he will fix that toaster if he wants toast for breakfast. He will pick up the doggies mess when he steps in it.
We do get irritated with each other but true love changes the irritations into patience rather than anger. And this is not just applicable to our husbands or wives, but it is also applicable to our children. I know I am a mother too and I often get so irritated with the kids that I can scream, but I never act in anger. Believe me I do get very angry with them, but I will never act as if I hate them.True love is not about me but about the people I love. Their needs and happiness becomes your focus point. And no you do not have to loose your own personality. You can still be you who co-exist in a great unit of love.
I always ask myself if I was on the receiving end what would I want the outcome to be. Would I like it if I got a jar against the head, or be beaten so that I have to hide for a week. If my answer is no I change my reaction until I get a positive reaction to the situation. By putting myself into his shoes and trying to see the situation from his eyes I have managed to change numerous disagreements into calm discussions and great results for both of us.Arguments are ugly and in many cases unnecessary.
I have been married for five years now and my husband and I never had a huge argument. We have plenty of disagreements but because I am his main focus and he is mine we end up making life wonderful for each other. Together with true love comes trust. Trust your own choice for allowing that person into your life, and making him or her your partner, because if you cannot trust your own choices how can you trust your partner’s. Soon the small things that seemed like the end of the world to you at first becomes rather insignificant when you look at it through the eyes of love.Let me tell you a secret – accept one another for who you are, as unique people with your own identities and personalities and habits that co-exist in a unit together.
God showed us true love through Jesus Christ. He gave up his own Son for the people he loves.
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We often confuse belief with religion or connect it to some sort of religious act, but that is not belief at all. I see belief as the ability to achieve great things in your life by having faith and trust in God and the abilities you were born with. None of us are born with limitations. We grow into them. For some reason our minds trick us in to believing that we are not capable of doing certain things. It is simply a trick the mind plays.
Have you ever noticed that when we grow up we often maintain the same type of lifestyle our parents had. A lot of the time when you look at people and you look at the way they live you will see that their parents had the same lifestyle. I know a lady whose parents got divorced when she was young. She is now also divorced and she lives exactly the same type of life her mother had after she got divorced. It is almost like this big cycle is repeating itself over and over again.
Our lives reflect the things we believe. We often go to university because our parents believed that in order for us to be able to get a good job we must study hard and go to university. Entrepreneurship and creativity was never really supported. We all follow this road and find ourselves frustrated in the work we do, just because we believe that one cannot get a good job if you are not educated. I take myself as an example. I hated studying, I loved nature and the outdoors and I am extremely creative, but instead of supporting my creativity and my love for drama and acting I was always told that one cannot make a decent living from that. There are only a few lucky ones and I am definitely not on that short list. So what did I do, I went and studied law. I was frustrated and nothing in my life seemed to have worked out, I got rebellious, annoyed and frustrated, because I was not aligned with my purpose in life. I had great talents for the entertainment industry but I never took the opportunity to use it, because of certain beliefs I shared with my parents. I was living my life in the wrong direction.
It was only when I met my husband that with his help and the grace of God that I found the courage to explore and change my beliefs. Today I am living the life I always dreamed of. I am not making a lot of money, but I am living my dream. This all happened because I realised that for me to find my purpose I must follow my dreams, even if that meant that I had to change my beliefs.
We all believe that we are here on earth to serve a certain purpose, however a lot of us wonder what that purpose is. This however is not a question that goes unanswered; the answer lies in the creation. God created us in his own image, for fellowship with Him.
That is why we are here on earth, and that is our purpose. God created us so that he could spend time with us, and visa verse. Throughout the Bible there is proof that God is involved in the lives of man. He interacted with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and he sent Jesus to earth to prove His love for us. Man is created with a body, a soul, a spirit, a mind and a free will to make decisions for or against God. God does not force us to believe in him or his existence it is a free choice that He gave us.
I know that it is very hard to believe especially because we cannot see God or that is what we think. I admit I grew up in a Christian home but this did not mean that I knew God. I know of God but I don’t necessarily know God personally. It was only when I made the deliberate decision to learn more about God that my eyes opened and I started seeing God in everything around me.
Having faith is seeing God in everything even in the disappointments that cross our roads to prepare us for bigger and better things.
Faith in God is spreading your wings and trusting that the wind will be there to carry you.
Faith In God has no limitations.
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When we think about death we think of it as the end of life as we know it, and yet this is the beginning of freedom. When we die our souls are freed from all earthly things that keeps us captured. We are responsible for being prisoners of our lives here on earth, because we are forever chasing after more wealth in our lives. We never have enough money.
We are often convinced that once we have a lot of money we will be happy, but is this really true or is it a false elusion that keeps us from being prisoners in this world. If you have to die today are you happy with what you achieved in life, or was your life just a rat race chasing after riches? I recently suggested to my dad that he and my mom must take sometime off and go overseas. He told me that he can rather use the money in the bank in a better way. Sadly if I look at his life he has millions of dollars to show. All of it safely tucked away in a bank account, but he has nothing to show for the life he lived. He chased after money all his life never to have enough. The sad part is that when he passes away his wealth will be left behind for others to enjoy.
I cannot help but to ask myself what life is? My husband and I travel a lot. We go out of our way to spend time with the kids and take them on overseas trips. Matthew is three years old and he has been all over the world. I know he might not remember it but we have the photos that we can show him and we always go back to places we enjoy. Yes we are not staying in a three story mansion or driving a Bentley but if I have to die today I hope that my children will remember the time that we spent together as a family, something I never had as a child. What I remember of my childhood is my father being a frustrated man always too tired to spend time with us and always shouting and screaming at us.
How many of us are actually living a life where we are too busy chasing after material things and not actually seeing the brighter and more valuable things in life? What is more important to be remembered as being rich or to be remembered for the person we were.
We have just celebrated Christmas and we are now standing at the dawn of a new year. Maybe in the New Year we must chase after family time and freedom to live our lives and enjoy and be grateful for what we already have instead of chasing money and live a dying life.
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Peace is probably the one thing we all want, not only world peace but also inner peace. Everything in our modern times is rushed. We get up in the mornings and rush to get things done so that we can miss the traffic and get to work on time. We rush to get the kids out of bed, to get them ready for school. Weekends we spend our time rushing around doing shopping or trying to get the things done that we do not have time for during the week. An easy way to keep the kids occupied is to send them to the movies or to let them play TV or computer games. We don’t get to relax anymore. Most of our illnesses are caused by stress. Both our physical bodies and our spiritual beings are tired and broken down. We just don’t have enough hours in a day to try and find that inner peace, even ten minutes is too much time.
We all know the saying “charity begins at home.” This is one of the most truthful sayings I have ever heard. It is not just applicable to taking care of our family and looking after their needs but it is also applicable to us. How can we look after others if we do not take care of ourselves? This does not imply that we must be selfish. Not at all, but how can we expect our children to eat healthy if we don’t or how can we expect world peace if we do not have that peace within ourselves? How can we expect God to answer our prayers if we don’t have time to give to Him? Have you ever wondered why you work your butt off but never get that increase you are so hoping for? It is all about the energy you are reflecting upon the world. And yes the way you feel does affect other people. This is easy to explain. Maybe you do not get that increase, even though your work is always done and is always on time, because you lack enthusiasm. Maybe your boss does not see the effort you put in because the energy you send out does not reflect it.
Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood your kids are doing everything in their power to upset you more especially babies and toddlers? The reason is because they can feel that mommy is in a bad mood. When I wake up in the morning and I did not have a good night’s sleep I find that that will be the morning that my son does want to get dressed or eat when I want him too. This has been proven to me over and over again. When I wake up with a smile even if I did not have a good sleep things are a lot better. It is all because of that energy that they pick up.
Once you realise that all the negativity you experience is the result of the energy that you reflect upon the world, things will change for you. It does not take a lot of time to change these things. All we need to do is to decide what is important in life.
I also never had time for myself or the people I love, until we packed up and left the busy city for a simple life in a small town. This is when I learned what it is to have inner peace. To accept things the way they are and allow my mind to help me change the thing I don’t like. I have realised the almightiness of God and how small we really are when I cycle in the forest and I am surrounded by trees and the beauty of nature. When I opened my soul then I suddenly realised that God is busy with me every second of the day. I can feel his presence in the quietness of my soul. My husband and children mean more to me than a big house and a nice car. A smile from my daughter is worth more than millions in my bank account. Giving is now a pleasure.
The secret to inner peace and positive energy lies within ourselves, we must decide if we would like the time to spend to look for it. Is it one of those things we are willing to let go?
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