madi’s place

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.  – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We are all born for love. There is nothing nicer than the butterflies and that on cloud number 9 feeling when we fall in love. The sad thing however it never seems to last. I am sure we all know the saying “Love is blind, but marriage is the eye opener” and if we look at the divorce rates this must be so true.I love going to the golf club for inspiration, because this is the place where the big guns clinch a business deal or where husbands complain about their wives.

The funny thing is they always seem to think that their wives changed when they got married and that she is now trying to change him. I am sorry to say this ladies, but in most cases that seems to be true. We are trying to change each other, because I want him to be like me and he wants me to be more like him. Our differences then end up in arguments and sadly in most cases divorce or breaking up.

There are those people that say a good relationship is about giving and taking – a fifty/fifty partnership. Can I be honest if you are only willing to give 50% to a relationship don’t even try and have one. There is a lot more to a relationship than a 50/50 deal.Love is about giving everything not just 50%. It is a 100% commitment. We are all unique people in our own right. We all have different personalities, we were brought up differently, different cultures, languages, morals etc. Being in a relationship means that we must take these things into account.

Love is all about being patient. No matter how many times you have to ask him to put the seat down, if you truly love him this little irritation, which might seem like a big deal, can become a nod of the head and a smile on the face. I know some men who get irritated when their wives ask them to fix something and they want it done now. They might not feel like doing it right now. Most woman nag. Its in the blood but you will soon learn how to deal with it, when you truly love her. And as a woman you will understand that constant nagging doesn’t solve a problem it just makes it worse. Be patient he will fix that toaster if he wants toast for breakfast. He will pick up the doggies mess when he steps in it.

We do get irritated with each other but true love changes the irritations into patience rather than anger. And this is not just applicable to our husbands or wives, but it is also applicable to our children. I know I am a mother too and I often get so irritated with the kids that I can scream, but I never act in anger. Believe me I do get very angry with them, but I will never act as if I hate them.True love is not about me but about the people I love. Their needs and happiness becomes your focus point. And no you do not have to loose your own personality. You can still be you who co-exist in a great unit of love.

I always ask myself if I was on the receiving end what would I want the outcome to be. Would I like it if I got a jar against the head, or be beaten so that I have to hide for a week. If my answer is no I change my reaction until I get a positive reaction to the situation. By putting myself into his shoes and trying to see the situation from his eyes I have managed to change numerous disagreements into calm discussions and great results for both of us.Arguments are ugly and in many cases unnecessary.

I have been married for five years now and my husband and I never had a huge argument. We have plenty of disagreements but because I am his main focus and he is mine we end up making life wonderful for each other. Together with true love comes trust. Trust your own choice for allowing that person into your life, and making him or her your partner, because if you cannot trust your own choices how can you trust your partner’s. Soon the small things that seemed like the end of the world to you at first becomes rather insignificant when you look at it through the eyes of love.Let me tell you a secret – accept one another for who you are, as unique people with your own identities and personalities and habits that co-exist in a unit together.

God showed us true love through Jesus Christ. He gave up his own Son for the people he loves.