What is love…………….?

By orsillam | 24th Apr 2009 | Filed under Family, God, Life

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.  – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

We are all born for love. There is nothing nicer than the butterflies and that on cloud number 9 feeling when we fall in love. The sad thing however it never seems to last. I am sure we all know the saying “Love is blind, but marriage is the eye opener” and if we look at the divorce rates this must be so true.I love going to the golf club for inspiration, because this is the place where the big guns clinch a business deal or where husbands complain about their wives.

The funny thing is they always seem to think that their wives changed when they got married and that she is now trying to change him. I am sorry to say this ladies, but in most cases that seems to be true. We are trying to change each other, because I want him to be like me and he wants me to be more like him. Our differences then end up in arguments and sadly in most cases divorce or breaking up.

There are those people that say a good relationship is about giving and taking – a fifty/fifty partnership. Can I be honest if you are only willing to give 50% to a relationship don’t even try and have one. There is a lot more to a relationship than a 50/50 deal.Love is about giving everything not just 50%. It is a 100% commitment. We are all unique people in our own right. We all have different personalities, we were brought up differently, different cultures, languages, morals etc. Being in a relationship means that we must take these things into account.

Love is all about being patient. No matter how many times you have to ask him to put the seat down, if you truly love him this little irritation, which might seem like a big deal, can become a nod of the head and a smile on the face. I know some men who get irritated when their wives ask them to fix something and they want it done now. They might not feel like doing it right now. Most woman nag. Its in the blood but you will soon learn how to deal with it, when you truly love her. And as a woman you will understand that constant nagging doesn’t solve a problem it just makes it worse. Be patient he will fix that toaster if he wants toast for breakfast. He will pick up the doggies mess when he steps in it.

We do get irritated with each other but true love changes the irritations into patience rather than anger. And this is not just applicable to our husbands or wives, but it is also applicable to our children. I know I am a mother too and I often get so irritated with the kids that I can scream, but I never act in anger. Believe me I do get very angry with them, but I will never act as if I hate them.True love is not about me but about the people I love. Their needs and happiness becomes your focus point. And no you do not have to loose your own personality. You can still be you who co-exist in a great unit of love.

I always ask myself if I was on the receiving end what would I want the outcome to be. Would I like it if I got a jar against the head, or be beaten so that I have to hide for a week. If my answer is no I change my reaction until I get a positive reaction to the situation. By putting myself into his shoes and trying to see the situation from his eyes I have managed to change numerous disagreements into calm discussions and great results for both of us.Arguments are ugly and in many cases unnecessary.

I have been married for five years now and my husband and I never had a huge argument. We have plenty of disagreements but because I am his main focus and he is mine we end up making life wonderful for each other. Together with true love comes trust. Trust your own choice for allowing that person into your life, and making him or her your partner, because if you cannot trust your own choices how can you trust your partner’s. Soon the small things that seemed like the end of the world to you at first becomes rather insignificant when you look at it through the eyes of love.Let me tell you a secret – accept one another for who you are, as unique people with your own identities and personalities and habits that co-exist in a unit together.

God showed us true love through Jesus Christ. He gave up his own Son for the people he loves.

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Unpack your dreams

By orsillam | 7th Apr 2009 | Filed under Belief, Dreams, Goals, Life

“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” – Victor Hugo

 

As a child we often use to imagine that we were someone or something in life. We use to pretend and play for hours that we were either doctors or lawyers or teachers, you name it we were it. I for some reason always pretended to be a teacher. I use to take all my reading books and handed it to my pretend class. I use to mark their work with a red pen, I set tests and all the things a normal teacher would do in their daily lives.

As I grew up however all this pretend play became a distant memory and later disappeared. I matriculated and started studying law, but for years I was very restless, both in my studies and the work I was doing. Something was missing. The company I worked for went under and we all lost our jobs. I was devastated. I had a lot of study debts to pay and no work. In a desperate attempt to see if any good will came from it, and to keep me busy I offered my service to the church to collect the monthly donations and contributions from the people. I ended up at a ladies house who changed my entire live. She was the Head of Department of the Afrikaans Department of the School where I became a teacher a few months later.

She set up an interview for me with the Headmaster. I was very scared the first time I stood in front of a classroom of children, but deep down in my heart I suddenly remembered what I use to do as a child. I dared to pretend I was playing school again. I ended up teaching there for almost seven years at that school from that day forward. All because I unpacked my dream.

Teaching was in my blood the thing I was made for but it took me a long time to realize it. Life had to first walk a different path with me to prepare me for my greatest reality.

None of our dreams are too big to become a reality, but for some reason we stop dreaming when we reach a certain age, and then fall into a rut. We become scared of our dreams, when actually they are the things that guide us in our childhood.

Most of us however pack our dreams away and never look at them again. Then we ask ourselves why are we unhappy. This because we don’t follow our inner guidance that was given to us a children.

We don’t do the things we are talented for and we don’t use the gifts God gave us to make us successful in our lives here. Everything that you see around you today was once a dream of someone who was not willing to give up on it.

Reach out and unpack your dreams and live the life your were meant to have.

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